Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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