I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
