where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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