oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
