I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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