so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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