do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
These tits shall not be calmed
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize