i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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