dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
