Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You left your phone here
Wait...
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
