Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
