she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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