marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
