i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize