Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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