I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
