Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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