Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
