There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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