Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
