Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i think im in europe. pls send help
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
