Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
