she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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