My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
