I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
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