I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize