Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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