I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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