Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
