I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
