At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
