You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
