She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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