You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
