you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
