Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize