planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
no. you can't hotbox the world.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize