Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
