In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
