Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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