its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I wear drunk well.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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