Kiss
Puke
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
