What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
