they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
