Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
