just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she peed on how many people?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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