If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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