Duck Duck Cougar?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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