you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
