Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
