so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
