Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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