he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
