He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
