i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
