I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
