porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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