Swine flu. Run for my life!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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