I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize