Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
